Ups and downs

So basically in the last few days I experienced how is it to be up and to be down. Mostly down.
Lots of questions, doubts, fears and sadness. The kind of sadness you don't even know where is it from, why it's here.. why now?!
When one piece is falling apart, if all the other pieces of you are fine and strong, they can keep you from going down. But if there are more doubts, then it's like a table with only two feet left.
This table is still so unstable. One day I think something, the other day I beleive in the opposite. Sometimes I wake up smiling, but go to bed crying.
Not that I like to be sad, but I believe these moments are important parts in our life and I think it's better to be sad sometimes and be very happy after, then keep a neautral level, the type of mood what I call "surviving". Lots of people live like that. Days after days, they do their everyday routine, go to bed and continue this all over again and again. They have a poker face and you have no clue if they are happy or hate their life.
I don't want to be like a living dead.
I rather admit that I have feelings, that I'm not strong all the time, sometimes I cry, but after all I always have a smile on my face, a big smile.. and I'll never let the World win! ;)